The Sports Buff ⚽️ ⚾️ 🏈

Good afternoon sports fans, I hope you’re well, ladies and gents and looking after yourselves too. After reminiscing about my school days and school cricket, I have decided I want to carry on walking down memory lane.

This road is a one way street where forward is the only way you can really go. So with this in mind, (for those of you who are old enough) let’s take you on the journey of in school when as almost a form of subtle bullying, the smallest kid was put in goal.

To be put in goal, of course was seen as the ultimate punishment, as was being last pick or being a number 11 in cricket, or purely having to field and not bowl. One way to soften the chastening blow of being put in goal, after hours arguing, heads and tales or scissors, paper or brick games, the happy median was two goals and swap.

So of course, naturally in school football and even five-a side, the unfit one would jump at the chance to go in goal after five minutes of running and feeling tired (yeah that was me). But you would also get the one who would try to be Van Nistelrooy when he wasn’t in goal.

A certain someone *err herm me*, would be a master in the art of what in my day was called ‘goal-hanging’ . That’s not literal in the sense, don’t think I would hang goal nets on my washing line. I am referring to staying up front, the top-end of the pitch.

Tracking back? Yeah, we can only do that in up to three working days! But back to being the goal-keeper. Shots from the five-a-side halfway line, would ‘fly in’ with the keeper no where in sight, very sus indeed.

Before you know it, after four shots, this person would be ready to go back out of goal and in to the attack. Me, well for a big unit (let’s put it mildly) got down well and covered a lot of ground in my penalty box, I was like a panther who hadn’t gone for a run for some prey in a while.

Other football punishments, well it was when I was in the school team, was to be put in defence. O how I yearned to be the one stroking the ball into the net, but it’s not all sad as I did get the pleasure of scoring in penalty shoot-outs.

So there you have it sports fans, my memories of being summoned to be in goal. I am sure this still happens at a five-a-side pitch or school playground, or maybe this story is one that you can relate to. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

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