Hello, and good morning sports fans. My name is Ayyaz Malik. I hope you’re well, looking after yourselves and are in good health. Today, I am going to talk about sport, well, kind of.
Sports fans, do you believe in love? Well, I do. I am a hopeless Romantic, no dear, that’s a typo! I hope for less romance due to your charms, hehe. That was smooth! Just being an idiot and putting it on paper, I dream of myself being something of a satire writer.
I am going to sound like the Valentine equivalent of Scrooge, but Bar Humbug. This is an over-inflated day of importance. If you truly loved your significant other, you wouldn’t save them just one day, just my thoughts.
In case you’re thinking, love does exist from a mini Fillet burger (refer to ayyazmalik.com), to football, love is in many ways. My first love? That was the remote control.
For a toy car? No, dear reader, for the TV. So the tale goes like this, when I used to come back from school, I used to rush to see my love. Sorry, mother darling, I love you, but I rushed to grab that remote and turn the TV on.
My way of expressing love to the remote was pressing ‘her’ buttons yes, identifying things was a thing back then too (nouns pro nouns). The three numbers were usually 302, 340 or 316. These were the football and cricket pages.
For hours on end, I would scroll through the text of sports news, and my mind would shovel it altogether and thus began my love of storing sporting knowledge in my mind.
I turned the TV remote’s pages. It was a relationship that blossomed for years. There was never a wonder of if I am doing too much, remote loved me and I loved she.
Until they brought Freeview along. The text service was never the same after that. Ceefax, I will always love you. You left an impression on my heart. I never had to worry about remembering when Valentine’s Day is or when any anniversary is.
You were the opposite of demanding, a dream partner. Another case of love can be in the sporting sense, can be for your sports team, but for me, I reminisce about this love story.
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